My world changed on

march 19, 2016

My husband of 20 years took his life on that date.  He had suffered from depression for 40 years but hid it well.  He was funny and well liked.  10 days before his death he fell into a dark place and I really didn't know what to do.  We prayed, went to the Dr and got meds but it wasn't getting better.  Then poof he was gone.

Afterwards was a whirlwind of pain, loneliness and confusion.  Not too long after Randy died I almost took my own life.  I could not stand the loneliness and abandonment feeling that I had going on in my brain.  But the thought of leaving my kids alone and hurting my parents kept me going.  Then I had the support of my clients at FIM and I slowly started to pull myself out of the big black depression hole.

I then dedicated my efforts into helping others get out of the hole.  I dug into research on anything that would help me and others with depression.  Supplements, Exercises, Emotional Freedom Therapy (tapping), Music, Yoga, Meditative Breathing, Tai Chi, Group Therapy, One-on-one Therapy, Equine Therapy, Nutrition and Medications.  I found what worked for me and I want to share so that you can see if any of these work for you.  

Believe me when I say, I understand how much pain you are going through but making the choice to take your own life is wrong.  Studies show that 144 people are affected by one suicide.  The chance of a direct loved one (child, spouse, girl/boyfriend) completing suicide after you do rises by 30%.  All you are doing is transferring your pain to countless others who love you.

So this is a vlog series that will start off by showing the consequences to suicide.  Then as I add more Vlogs it will talk about what you can try to help get you back to your life again.

***Trigger Alert***   These first videos show an intense amount of pain and transparency.  

April 20, 2016 I am showing what suicide will do to a loved one

May 2016